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Keywords:

• i told him the truth

Comment: jeffandceleste

Description: truth leads to vodka. vodka leads to tequila. tequila leads to prison.

Keywords:

• my drunken desire to be gossip girl

Comment: satorudb

Description: continues to ruin friendships for me

Keywords:

• remember that night

Comment: rukafais

Description: when I almost got you arrested? is that funny yet?

Keywords:

• our house smells like week old pizza

Comment: rukafais

Description: beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

Keywords:

• it was like fucking with batman

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: he had gadgets i never even imagined

Keywords:

• you took out flashcards at the bar

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant

Keywords:

• dad assaulted a tsa agent this morning

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: shut down airport security. don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

Keywords:

• you just left me a 3 minute voicemail

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: of pop rocks in your mouth. i'm sitting right next you

Keywords:

• i can already tell

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: this is going to be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people

Keywords:

• things you owe me: a sober apology‚ $12

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob

Keywords:

• no one was enforcing discipline

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: so not really my fault for not behaving

Keywords:

• most of the numbers in my phone

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: are mistakes. it's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.

Keywords:

• drunk lesbians having an argument

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: about their relationship is not as hot as I imagined

Keywords:

• yep‚ it's a dick on our front door

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: intentional?

Keywords:

• please don't text me

Comment: yourfacehere

Description: until you can spell three letter words again